In Memory of Betty Quigley

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE LEO

2009-08-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Grandma! I really don't have any profound words tonight. I miss you and love you!

One year today

2009-03-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's been one year today since my dear, sweet, beloved Grandma Betty passed away.
Here is a poem I found online, I want to dedicate this to her memory from all of her children, grandchildren and great granchildren.

Grandma, we miss you and love you!!

Grandma your life was full of loving deeds,
Forever thoughtful of our special needs,
Today and tomorrow,
my whole life through,
I will always love and cherish you
There's magic in a Grandmother's touch,
And sunshine in her smile.
There's love in everything she does
To make our lives worthwhile.
We can find both hope and courage
Just by looking in her eyes.
Her laughter is a source of joy,
Her words are warm and wise.
There is a kindness and compassion
To be found in her embrace,
And we see the light of heaven
Shining from a Grandmother's face.
Everyone has their time
But why did yours have to come so soon?
There are so many people in the world
So why did God have to pick you?
They say things like this make you stronger
But how can that be?
I feel so weak inside
It all feels like a dream
I didn't get to see you
You passed away too soon
But I feel you watching over me
And someday I'll see you again

Andrea Nickel

Missing Mom

2009-01-30T20:53:00.000-08:00

I am in one of those moods tonight, so bear with me. I miss my mom. It's a fact. Nothing has changed since 10/19/2007 at 1:30 p.m. when I received that ominous call. She is gone, I know. Dead, passed away, in Heaven, however you prefer to word it. Nothing changes the fact that my mom is gone and not coming back.

In a lot of ways, I feel I have done some healing. But, other times, I feel like I haven't healed at all. I have a few pictures of her around the house. There are times that I walk by them and don't bat an eyelash. Other times, I catch her smile out of the corner of my eye and start tearing up.

I am making oatmeal chocolate cookies tonight. Yes, at 10:00 p.m. but hell, it's a Friday night. :)And a favorite memory occurs to me. As a young and up and coming cook at the age of 14 or so, I would make cookies. But, my favorite trick bugged the piss out of my mom. I would make the entire batch of cookie dough, and cook ONE batch of cookies, just enough to satisy my sweet tooth. I would then, roll the rest of the un-cooked dough, into some plast wrap and put into the freezer. This drove my mom NUTS! She couldn't stand to find a buch of cookie dough balled up the freezer. This memory makes me laugh to myself, but makes me really sad too.

It is one of those sad moments that makes me realize just how much I really do miss her. One of those moments, that I realize that my daughters are not going to be able to laugh at this memory with my mom and I. I hate that she is gone, I am still so mad about it. I just want her here. I still don't know why she was taken. 52 is not old. It wasn't her time yet... They say that there are stages to grieving. I do not pretend to know the steps, the order, the psychology or whatever. I just know that I am still hurting, over a year later. The pain is still here and still fresh.

Small things remind me of her. I have a lilac scented candle that I love to burn in the spring. One of her favorite plants (flowers) was a lilac. She loved Fleetwood Mac, Neil Diamond, the 4th of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving... she loved her grandkids, she loved her children, still had a place in her heart for my dad, even though they were long divorced. Everything and anything reminds me of her. And it hurts, and it makes me sad... And it makes me so glad for the memories that keep her alive in my heart.

Momma - I know you are up in Heaven with Him, I know you are in a better place. I know you are whole again, I know you are happy, I know you are not in pain or grieving. I love you so much and miss you more than I even put into words. I know that someday I will see you again and that is one of the things that keeps me going in this really hard time. Please know that you are missed here. And loved. And missed even more.

Love you always. Janda.

Catching your smile...

2009-01-30T18:21:00.000-08:00

"I'll catch your smile on someone's face
Your whisper in the wind's embrace
Through diamond stars and songs and dreams
I find your love in everything
The sun, the sky, the rolling sea
All conspire to comfort me
From sorrow's edge life's beauty seems
To find your love in everything
I've come to trust the hope it brings
To find your love in everything
Even as I fall apart,
Even through my shattered heart
I'll catch your smile on someone's face.....amazing grace."
~Beth Nielsen Chapman

Full Circle ~

2008-09-05T22:12:00.001-07:00

FULL CIRCLE

You walked through my world;
In this dance we call life,
Dancing with me in joy,
Dancing with me in strife.

You gave me the song,
And gave me the chance;
To learn about love,
When you taught me to dance.

It was not just the music,
Nor the steps that we made;
But is now in sweet memories,
That never will fade.

For love was your music,
And life was your song;
You taught me the dance,
And how to be strong.

You showed me what love was,
Even in your goodbye;
Now we've come full circle,
In this dance we call life.

So, dance with the angels,
And may you find rest;
Your song's in my heart,
And my life, fully blessed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-08-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of Kambrin with grandma; her youngest heart medicine. It was her birthday the day after Grandmas. I miss Grandma so much. I think our family is still struggling with the deaths and separations that endured our family in this last year. My wedding anniversary will be coming up shortly and with that I will always remember that 12 days later our family started a whirl spin. I can only hope that the strength of grandma starts to shine in on all of us. Maybe we should do what Kacy said, and all sit down and make her a birthday card and send it on it's way.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA,
Love forever your little Mountain Girl

Happy Birthday Grandma!!

2008-08-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

This upcoming August 4 would have been Grandma's birthday. My birthday is the 6th, so we always shared a close birthday, as well as the both us being Leo's together.

It has only been five months since Grandma left us. And it feels like an eternity has passed. I know that she would not want any of her kids or grandkids to still be hurting and missing her, but I know we all do still miss her.

I still cannot believe that she is gone. Last year about this time, I would have been sending her a card and calling her up and wishing the both of us a Happy Birthday. I think instead, this year, I will be taking flowers to my Mom's and Grandma's headstone in the Clinton cemetary to honor her birthday.

The scrapbook page above, is dedicated to the memory of our dear Grandma and with that being said, Happy Birthday Grandma. And I love you.

~ Untitled Poem ~

2008-06-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine emailed me this poem. It says a lot about how I feel about life in general. I thought I would post in on the blog for everyone to read and share. Thanks Whitey for sending it to me. :)

Untitled Poem

I have seen a mother at a crib - so I know what love is;
I have looked into the eyes of a child - so I know what faith is;
I have seen a rainbow - So I know what beauty is;
I have felt the pounding of the sea - so I know what power is;
I have planted a tree - so I know what hope is;
I have heard a wild bird sing - so I know what freedom is;
I have seen a chrysalis burst into life - so I know what mystery is;
I have lost a friend - so I know what sorrow is;
I have seen a star-decked sky - so I know what infinity is;
I have seen and felt all these things - so I know what life is.

~ Anonymous

Debra Denise Godfrey and Betty Louise Quigley

2008-05-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Resting in Peace... Finally
Megan and Ashley at Grandma's gravesite

Well, it's officially in, the headstone made its way to the grave this weekend. Just in time for Memorial Day. After almost being put on the wrong grave and missing in action for a week or two...

The girls and I took some flowers and a pinwheel to the grave today. My mom loved pinwheels.

The stone is beautiful. Crystal - if you are reading this, you did a really good job with it. Thanks sis! My mom also loved the color pink, we thought a pretty pink stone would do the job.

The inscriptions also look really good. We wanted to be sure that even though Grandma didn't get buried, that she had a final resting place and somewhere to be was remembered as well. And we thought since these two wonderful and feisty ladies were inseperable and always together in life, that it only seemed fitting in the afterlife.

It seems like only yesterday that we lost Mom and Grandma. But it feels like an eternity has already passed. I called my aunt Pam to let her know it had finally arrived, and she said it best, "now they can finallly rest." And I think I can too.

Our little Daysha is home

2008-05-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. Daysha is with Kassie Jo and Jesse now. Thanks to you both for taking this on. I, personally, couldn't be more proud of the both of you. I love you! Our family has its issues, but we know how to really come together.

Chelsey, if you are reading this, I am proud of you too. I know you are working hard to get things together. I love you too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This past Sunday, Pam, the girls and I went to visit my mom's gravesite. The grave stone is STILL not there, but is supposed to be there this Friday. It was a nice afternoon and I am really glad we all got to go together. Not only in honor of Mother's Day, but it was also my mom's birthday on May 16th. She would have been 52.

I just know that Grandma and Mom are up there in Heaven laughing about this orange cone. Mom probably wants to keep it, because she was that type of person. She always went against the grain and the "normal" thing to do. Maybe I will have to hi - jack the cone and put it somewhere for safe keeping. hehe

Pam was given a pine tree in honor of Grandma's donation of her body to science. We are in the process of checking with Clinton City to see if they would allow us to plant this at the cemetery, where it would always stand in honor of Grandma and her sacrifice.

Here are some photos we took of the flowers Crystal took, and the ones we took (with the cone). Pam bought some bleeding hearts, one of my mom's and grandma's favorite type of flowers.
I know Pam is going to kill me for putting this picture on, but oh well, she has to find me first...

As soon as the stone is finally in place, I will post pictures.

We'll get through this all

2008-04-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

I know that since the heartbreaking passing of Aunt Debbie, everything seems like this family has been in a tailspin and can't seem to pull out of it, but just remember that it will all get better I truly believe that God has a plan for all of us. He takes the suffering when they call to him. I've seen it many of times working in the hospital. Our life lessons are the things that we need to cherish and embrace and I think that loosing your loved ones is part of our life lessons we learn compassion for people we might not have known we had. I know that with the loss of Aunt Debbie, Grandma, and in a way Daysha good has come and will continue to come. Loosing Aunt Debbie started to bring our family back together, something she has always tried to do since the first year Grandpa passed away. I remember she use to have family get-to-gethers at her house all the time. It also brought her kids closer and forgiveness was given and accepted. With Grandma brought the opportunity for her kids and grandkids to take care of her, she was showered with love and grace in her final days. This is a gift that every parents fears for their kids but secretly loves. No parent wants to burden their kids with death, it's hard as it is already. But to return the love of shelter, warmth, kisses, hugs, and LOVE we were all given by our parents is an emotion that is truly to hard to put into words. Think how lucky we all were to give that gift especially for those who lived at my moms and did it day in and day out. Also the heart break of Daysha, please don't frown on this as a loss of our sweet, fun, forever busy niece. Think of it as a blessing, her mom will finally get the help she needs, and Daysha and Chealsie will have a chance in this world. For to long did some of the kids in our family have to watch their parents move from home to home, watch them loose jobs, money, going with out, frivolous spending habits on what seems to corrupt this world and our family (drugs). We as the kids who went through it should not want to do the same to our own kids. Jesse and I are trying our best to become foster parents so we can bring Daysha home with us until my sister and Daysha can start to live a healthy life again. This is a beginning for our family, for every death is a new birth well let our new birth be that the Quigley family become closer again. Let us live in joy and happiness. We have to start somewhere, don't let the loss of Aunt Debbie and Grandma be our demise, let it be our strength. Don't let fear get to you about Daysha please think and embrace the opportunity it will give her and her mother.

I love our family lets pull through and let our family shine.

Things are going to work out

2008-04-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

Randy, I read your post and I know is heart breaking what has happened. I truly believe things are going to work out. We have two wonderful angels up there watching out for all of us. I don't believe that God (or Mom or Grandma) would allow for one minute for our dear little Daysha to be gone from us for long.

jUST KEEPING IN TOUCH

2008-04-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

Hay all how is everyone doing? Im doing well. There is still a lot of things in our family that needs to be taking care of . We need to get Daysha back. It will never be the same if we dont . I pray to God we will find a way. Pam i love you so much , we will get through this the Lord will see to it .
Love Randy

Angel's poem to grandma♥♥♥♥

2008-04-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

The wind is like life, it blows by faster than you think and every time you blink a new life starts. Not everyone gets to go that far. Sometimes I wonder how many people are gone, no matter what life must go on. It doesn't matter if it means people die, mo matter what you still know why. No matter what people say because you know that you will see them again someday.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~I LOVE YOU GRANDMA~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

Heaven ...

2008-03-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

My favorite season is fall. I love the crisp colors of the leaves and the coolness in the air.

My favorite time of the day is dusk. I love the sunset and to watch the day come to such a peaceful end. So I really loved this picture.

I'd like to think that this is something of what heaven may resemble, at least heaven in my mind. It's a place that all your favorite memories, feelings and smells reside. All of those nostalgic moments in life that pass you by. You would now have a moment to linger and hang on to them a little bit longer.

If this is heaven, then it may be a pretty nice place to be afterall.

Angels Together Forever...

2008-03-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

Randy, I am so glad you are posting with us. And I am so glad that both Crystal and I could be of some help. I know how painful it is to lose your mom, and now my grandma. We love you too and I am so proud of you and your sweet family.

I scrapped this page to honor the memory of both Debbie and Betty. I found it only fitting that I came across so many pictures of them together in life, and they are forever united in the after life. I hate to call it death because it is so final. I know that we will be forever together again in the great beyond.

I have been trying to keep my head up about the losses of both of these great ladies, and some days are better than others. Each day does get a little better, but also a little harder. It has now been almost three weeks since we lost Grandma and going on five months since we lost Mom.

I found this quote and really liked it:

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."
~Jack Lemmon

I think it really sums it up. We will all be together again someday and in the grace of God.

I love you both, and Randy, welcome to the wonderful world of blogging. :)

2008-03-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say how much i miss my mom.Its been almost 2 weeks sence she has passed and i still feel like i should be home taking care of her. Its so hard to beleave shes gone i just pray shes in a better place. There will be an empty place in my heart now. Im so glad i got to spend as much time with her as i did.Im still having a hard time with the whole thing.it all happend so fast my uncle Frank,my sis Deb and then my mom. As time passes it will get better but it will never be the same. One thing i would like to say is how much i love Janda and Crystal for all thay have done we would be at a loss with out you thank you both. Love Randy

How much you are both missed...

2008-03-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

So I just posted this picture on my mom's blog and thought it should be on Grandma's too. I love this picture, thanks Amber for sharing it. I cannot believe that this was just taken just a few years ago. How much time has changed. Now they are both gone, forever. But they are now forever together.

One of my last phone conversations with my mom, about a week before her accident, she was complaining about how Grandma was fighting with her (mom's) counselor over some stupid mis-understanding. They had been both been at the shop. Well, just minutes after this conversation, my mom's counselor came in to the shop. Grandma was already fired up and pulled out the bull - whip and chased her out of the shop. I don't remember the details of the end of the story, but just found it funny that these two women were the best of friends, mother and daughter and constantly aruging.

That is how I imagine them now. Up with Jesus in Heaven, and arguing. I miss them both so much, but I am at peace with the fact that they are together...and arguing... over who got more flowers at their service, who got more attention, who made more people cry... This is how they were.

I would give anything to have them back here with me, but I know that is not going to happen. Just when I think I have healed some, the tears are back. Happy tears in a way... Knowing Grandma is not suffering here on Earth anymore and that they are together, forever and this is how it should be.

Mom's headstone is ordered and will have Grandma's birth date and date of death on it. This will be in place in about 5 - 6 weeks. I will post pictures once it is done. Thanks to Crystal and Kelly for taking care of this.

I love you both! I miss you too. Keep watch over us all. We are hurting and need your blessings.

2008-03-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

We are growing

2008-03-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

I am so excited! So far, we have four new authors. So all of you start posting. I think this is a really good outlet for all of us to shed a few tears, tell some funny stories and keep in touch. That is something grandma would have wanted. She would be so happy to know that all of her beloved grandchildren were staying in touch, and remembering her for the wonderful woman she was (and is).

Here are some photos I have meant to add from the day of her funeral last week:

One of the greatest ladies I knew

2008-03-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

These are some of my favorite photos taken of a trip Jo and I made to Lyman a few years ago. Grandma's shop was in a ran - down old gas station. It was her pride and joy. A friend of hers, who was a self - proclaimed artist, decided to paint her van in some really strange hippy - like design. The funny thing, is that even the van was hideous, Grandma loved it. Someone had done it for her, and therefore, in her eyes, it was beautiful. This is the type of woman she was.

Some of my fondest memories of Grandma stem from the days or being a child. One story that Crystal and I love to laugh about, is the time my mom and dad won a trip to Hawaii. Grandma had been given the duty of looking after Crystal, Shaun and I for an entire week. She dropped our parents off at the airport and drove us home. At the time, of course, she was driving another sort of van. Grandma always needed a van to haul her loot home from the swap meet that weekend. Crystal and I were in the back seat and behind her. While at the airport, we had taken several of the baggage tickets to play with. While driving home, we got bored and found some straws. We got the bright idea of making spit wads with the baggage tickets and the straws. We began shooting them into Grandma’s hair. I am not sure at what point she realized what her two sneaky granddaughters were doing, but she just laughed along with us and never got upset. This is the kind of unconditional love I am talking about. And I am sure that each and every one of her children, grandchildren, and great – grandchildren knows exactly what I mean.

Quinton put it in the perfect words, we loved our pistol-packing, bull whippin' granny. There will never be another Betty Louise Mast Quigley again. We have to make the best to rememberthis amazing soul and ask that God make us nearly the person she was.

Some of my favorite pictures

2008-03-22T23:07:00.000-07:00

Final Day Pics

2008-03-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

Those are some really great pics you got of my family with grandma....I know how emotionally hard this has been on all of us, I still don't think the realization has completely sunk in. I know how hard it was to visit my moms house when grandma was slowly declining and I should have gone more often. I'm just glad that she was able to spend her final days on this earth with her family and not sitting in a rest home. She loved getting visits from the great grandkids...although I think it wore her out after a visit, she would never say so though. I know how delighted she got when I would bring Kambrin over. She just loved kissing and holding her, always said "she reminds me of you...I remember you when you were this old...I can't believe how much you two look a like....look at her eyes they are just like yours".

But anyhow really good pics; I'm sorry that you were crying the other night....and you are right it truely broke grandmas' heart and sprit to loose her oldest daughter the way she did. I am content knowing that neither one is in pain any longer and they have each other, plus a wonderful man to show them around....Can you see them up there talking about all of us, and whose exit was better....who got the most tears...Grandpa and Aunt Debbie drinking the beers the Boys leave with Grandpa and all three smoking, hoping not to get caught.

It makes me smile anyhow thinking how they could be changing the heavens, I guess they have to if they are perparing for our family to go there throughout the years. Hahaha :)

2008-03-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

So tonight I have had way too much to drink and am an emotional train wreck. I have been adding to this blog as well as my mom's, http://debbiegodfrey.blogspot.com and have been bawling for an hour. So a word of advice, don't get drunk with your best friends, only to then go home and mourn the loss of your recently departed mother and grandmother.

Anyhow, here are some pictures of Grandma and the family in her final days. It's amazing how quickly someone can decline in health. Grandmas was diagnosed with cancer just weeks after my mom died. She looked really good and was in (what we thought) relatively good health back in October.

I truly believe that it was not just the cancer that took her, but heart break as well. We all took my mom's death especially hard, but Grandma took it really hard. Her heart was broken, as well as her spirit.

Where ever you two amazing women are tonight, I pray that you can mend our broken hearts and souls as well. We miss you and look to the day that we can all be united again in the heavens.

Grandma's final days

2008-03-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

Grandma I love you!

2008-03-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my two girls(Jade and Kambrin) and grandma. We as kids were grandma's heart medicine she always said....it's no wonder she was always so full of life with all the grand&great grandchildren she had. She was more like a kid then she was a grandma. She took the expression of "Well I'm the grandma I can do what ever because they go home afterwards". Most times we never left, we never wanted to go home. I remember spending so much time with her. I was the first offical swat meet girl, and mountain girl..who as she said jumped in her arms and never left. I would go the the swat meet she would give me my own booth of things that I could sell, I always thought her prices were to high and she would still sell things...more often she bought everything there before she would leave. I would buy things too: markers, makeup, jump-ropes, food, and treats. I spent more of her money then she did some weekends. I sold something once when my grandma went to shop/trade around....boy was she mad but not at me the guy who bought it and she marched down there and got the toy gun that I had sold back and some other things....I guess it went without saying no one messed with our grandma...she was the true meaning of a LEO! I wanted to talk at the funeral because I had so much to share with all of us there, like I was the first doll she did of us grandkids and I wanted my doll to have big boobs because mine were so small, and she stuffed the dress we made so full so that she did....and I would have talked about the coffee she used to give me as a kid and my grandpa Jim would yell at her and she would just say "oh hush" and he would. I would tell everyone how at the mountain she took her wicker patio set out side and put it under a tree so we could have tea party's and red ants infested it so we didn't play there often, and the old dolls we used to play with that were as tall as us, and had the pull string on their backs that we would sit and play and play....and although they were her dolls and I'm sure worth a lot of money she didn't mind. She just loved to see us smile. I remember so much silly songs we performed, poker games we were taught, dress up that we played and clothes from the 30's......I could go on and on. And then there is the end which I wish sometimes I didn't remember.

Thank you Janda for putting this together. Apparently I had a lot to say.

Old and shabby

2008-03-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

I don't really know where to begin with this blog, other than to begin by saying what a sad place this world is going to be without you in it. I learned so much from this great woman. Including, my love of all things old and shabby. In my family, we grew up at either the swapmeet or yard sale-ing.I attribute my love to shabby sheek to you Grandma.

Yahoo!!

2008-03-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah! We have figured out how to add more than one blogger to this site. So anyone interested in adding thoughts, pictures, memories, etc can do so. Email me at jandastrong@gmail.com. More is to come soon.

2008-03-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

This blog is dedicated to Betty Louise Mast Quigley who passed away March 13, 2008. My grandma meant the world to me and all of her grandchildren. This blog is dedicated to her and her enduring legacy. Over the next few days, I will update more photos and scrapbook pages.

I love you Grandma and will miss you.

We are going to miss you

2008-03-18T19:51:00.000-07:00